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Later you can use me as a story to turn on your much more age-appropriate boyfriend. You are lying in the hospital sick and weak and sort of disgusting looking, and have some kind of painkiller-induced crush on me, but really I’m just going to get drunk with my girlfriends later and talk about how gross and weird your head wound is.

You will notice how imbalance the conversation is, where she’s mainly providing 1-word answers and I’m blabbering away. As RSD Jeffy famously said; learn how to have diarrhea of the mouth! Here’s the thing: this is only true in cases where the girl is NOT a shy one.Later, I will tell the boy I have a crush on about you, not the one I’m in love with but someone else, to make it clear I’m easy.2) Let’s pretend I’m old enough to be your dad, and you have issues with all male authority figures in your life, and I really don’t want to talk to you about what you’re into because I think you’re pretty immature and foolish and would really prefer that you don’t talk at all but just be exuberantly grateful for the attention.My teasing-impaired younger self just didn’t get it. Laughing with others brings people together and pokes fun at our common challenges. Comedian Rodney Dangerfield was best known for his self-deprecating humor in his stand up acts, with his famous line “I get no respect.” Watch modern-day self-deprecator, Tonight Show Host Conan O’Brien, as an example of how to make fun of yourself. This works especially well combined with #2, laughing at yourself. My mother turned toward me with a pleading smile and a high, falsely pleasant voice, “Diane, don’t you mean, Glenda the Good Witch? We had just watched The Wizard of Oz a week earlier. If you do have a rehearsed story, wait until the conversation leads to a good insertion spot.Conan frequently makes fun of his own hair, his paleness and even his jokes that flop. And here’s one for the guys: Anthropologist Gil Greengross, who conducted a two-year study into the role of humor in seduction found that self-deprecating humor was the most attractive kind of humor. As a small child, I learned the power of laughter to reduce tension. Of course, you can guide the conversation toward a direction you want to go so that you can insert your funny story, too.

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