Parenting and teenage dating
Any parent of a teenager knows how challenging it can be when a teen becomes interested in dating.
Caring parents try to do all they can to be there for a child who has questions or wants to discuss anything.
I find myself in the unsettling position of wanting to say very conventional things like ''An 18 year old boy only has one thing in mind.'' And then I feel bad. Older guys pick on younger, more vulnerable girls because it's harder for them to say no. They mostly spent time together at school, at lunch, or met before school for coffee. I told her that I wanted to meet him before they went ''out'' anywhere. Just make sure she knows that she can call you anytime and you will pick her up. That way she might talk to you about any things she doesn't know how to handle.
Talk to your daughter about different things that can happen when she is with him and let her know she can make a choice about what she wants to do. I also tell her if he wants to ''go farther'' than she does, she absolutely has the right to say ''no''.
It's sometimes hard for parents to find a balance between hovering over a teen and giving them too much freedom.
After all, guiding teens into the dating world is an unfamiliar experience for many parents. Some teens date because they see their friends beginning to date and don't want to be left behind.
Other teens date because they feel a closeness with someone or feel understood by the person.
One of the most important things for parents to remember is to communicate with their teen.
At recess one day, her best friend yelled over to the unsuspecting boy, “Catherine wants to snog!
While there may be the occasional romantic twosome among the members, the majority are unattached.
If anything, youngsters in the group spend as much time interacting with their same-sex friends as they do with members of the opposite sex. Ron Eagar, a pediatrician at Denver Health Medical Center, views group dating as a healthy way for adolescents to ease into the dating pool rather than dive in.
I want to support her to start thinking through some of this for herself, but whereas she used to have very good judgment, these days she's running on low self esteem and hormones and I believe would follow anybody home who told her she had beautiful eyes. I talked to her about birth control and safe sex and she clearly was not ready. She went to his house once or twice, all when parents were home. When she has been out later with others I often pick her up (the joys of cell phones! I guess when there is another boyfriend I will want to meet him also.
( And yes, we've been addressing the low esteem for years.)She has no experience with dating. I say I could get behind that better if he would stop commenting on her physical beauty and if she would stop gushing. When she saw him I kept my cell phone on and when they were alone for the first time and he was pressuring her for sex, she called me and I picked her up immediately. I think it's a matter of what you are comfortable with and what she wants too.