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You no longer have to pay for a drink before scanning a nightclub, compiling a mental list of those around you: ‘yes, no, no, no, yes, hell yes, no, no, both at the same or neither’, etc.Instead of the joy of chatting up a total stranger in public, welcome to the seedy world of Tinder, the i Phone app that’s been lowering sexual standards since 2012 in the US, but has recently swept London. You choose a picture of yourself, indicate your sexual preference, and you’re away.I just knew that I liked him and I tried to express that physically, but then I'd abruptly get uncomfortable, but not know how to express that.The mix of liking being with him but not always knowing what I wanted to do with him was extremely awkward and uncomfortable, and we finally decided to step back from the relationship for a while as I tried to figure myself out. I understand myself a lot better, and I want to have a closer relationship with someone, but I don't feel enough attraction to really know who to have that with.Given that smartphones have encroached on every other aspect of our lives, it was only a matter of time before we sunk low enough to surrender our most base instincts to our palm-held masters.Well, congratulations humanity, you’ve gone and done it: you no longer have to leave your house to casually survey eye-candy and make that silent personal decision on first sight — would you or wouldn’t you?

You are matched, which fills you with a warm sense of satisfaction approximate to about an eighth of the feeling you get when you catch the eye of someone pretty and just know. And is it just me or has every girl in London been to that festival in India where everyone throws paint about? You had me at the picture of you with Michael Portillo. The generic blurred picture of you in a nightclub with a cocktail that was clearly so expensive you thought you better record it for posterity. My adventure into the Tinder vortex taught me many things.

Faith was sitting on the veranda and reading a newspaper.

She didn\'t notice a guy who slowly approached her from behind and suddenly grabbed her hand.

I guess it’s much more accepted in France for men and women to be friends.

However, if a woman is dining with a man, you can bet he will pick up the check. I usually trick them by asking to be excused (as if I was going to the lady’s room, grab the waiter and give him my credit card).

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