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If 10 years ago someone had told me that I would be married to a German, I would laugh. Well, life is REALLY full of surprises, not only I married a German who speaks German, but one that also speaks my language too, Portuguese. Yes, our 3-year wedding anniversary is tomorrow, and while this post is being published, we are celebrating this day in Paris.

A husband who actually speaks that crazy language that sounds more like cursing, drinks lots of beer and only eats potatoes and sausages?

Like a “get me on a plane because I want to move back to Germany ASAP” kind of missing it. Germans think it is ridiculous how much Americans sue.

I realized that even though I left Germany 6 months ago, there are still so many posts on Germany I haven’t published. In Germany, they have up to 3 different Santa Claus figures! To go along with #2, Christmas is celebrated on the night of the 24th in Germany. On New Year’s, they shoot off fireworks to celebrate the new year. If you do, you will either be hit by a bike or very sternly yelled at by a German (which is honestly very frightening! I think I’ve mentioned this before but German men dress so much better than American men. We sue (or threaten to sue) substantially more than Germans. I’ve corrected a lot of papers for Germans writing in English…and they all make the same grammatical mistakes: super long sentences, wrong preposition usage, and lots of transitional words.

I notice he is approximately 2-3 drinks ahead of me. For the first 2 hours, our conversation is AMAZING! “I don’t know,” he ponders, “I think it will just make my watch pop.” Questionable.. I politely order a glass of chardonnay but sip slowly making sure that I will be able to escort HIM home safely. “Look, clearly there was some kind of misunderstanding, let’s rewind and scratch that past conversation out.” He snaps, “Well ok, but I don’t think I did anything wrong.” He takes one last sip of his drink indicating that he is done. ” He says “let’s wrap it up” and asks for the check. I text him as soon as I get in the cab, something that I generally would never do, “I’m not sure what just happened….” No response.

The fact that he says he can shop for hours and not get bored doesn’t phase me in the slightest, in fact, I welcome that challenge. Mid-conversation he blurts out, “our third date should be a cooking date.” I jokingly respond, “a cooking date? What would Patti Stanger say….”Not until I’m exclusive with someone….that’s when. We are out of there faster than a sweater off of a Barney’s sale rack.

Sure, it’s common to write down deadlines for school assignments, and work shifts, but I was surprised that everything from “call so and so” and “grocery shopping” were all written down.Men in the USA tend to either be intimidated by my background or make derogatory remarks about how I’ll never achieve my political goals (FYI, these disrepectful remarks motivate me even more so thanks) 23. Crutches in Germany are different than crutches in the USA.If Germans need a new word, they just combine multiple other words together to make a new word. They go around your wrists instead of under your arms! Learning how to ride a bike in Germany is totally different than in the USA. First, casual dating/hook-up culture isn’t as prevalent in Germany as it is in the USA. After living in Germany for a few months now, here’s my observations on the most popular German stereotypes. Of course when you do run late, they’ll tell you it’s fine, but underneath their happy, smiling exterior, you can totally sense their disappointment. In the land of punctuality, for some reason the Deutsche Bahn is never fully reliable. I was in Berlin for a month and I can’t even remember it…that’s how epic it was!!! ), some I do find hilariously true to a certain extent. What I find amusing is how some Germans will search up schedules on the Deutsche Bahn website, so it’s not even, “Hey, let’s meet at around 5,” but rather, “Hey, let’s meet at exactly 17.27.” And when they say 17.27, you better be there at 17.27.

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